Cape Town, a place I now call home but is it really. For some of you who dont know, and like my twitter page reads, I am a Durban girl trying to my way in Cape Town.
It has now been a year and a bit since I changed the province in which I reside in. The story of how I got to Cape Town is a miracle on its it own, but that I will leave for another post. The change of city’s went quite well if I may add, it was something any adventure junkie would love. However, with a year gone by, sitting back and reflecting over the time that has passed, you tend to ask questions that may not run through your mind a whole lot due to the lifestyle you lead.
These questions are along the lines of “Did I make the right choice?”, “Was the move and change of lifestyle worth it?”. These questions possibly seem like the hardest ones to answer right now, since it is the easter weekend and instead of going back to visit family, I am in Cape Town alone. Don’t get me wrong, being alone is something one needs to become comfortable with and as a person, one needs to love who they are and grow individually but in times like these, should I be back in Durban?
Again, a further explanation ought to be given before I continue further. I refer to my previous abode as Durban and not home and dont get me wrong, its not easy as I have debates with myself over it. But I refrain from calling it home, simply because I expect to create a life for myself in Cape Town and if I keep referring to Durban as home, I feel as though I am shooting down my hopes of creating a happy environment here. Home to me, simply put should be wherever you are.
However, another aspect to look at, is the fact that many of my friends who moved away from Durban still refer to Durban as home. I find it hard to understand why, the longing to be in Durban but the mindset that you most likely are never going to go back. Why antagonize yourself, why leave space for yourself to desire something but continue living somewhere else. Its only during the festive period do I question this, try and understand the logic and the conclusion shocks me because I begin to understand.
I begin to understand that as long as I live, whether in Cape Town or any other part of the country or even the world, Durban will always be the safe place, it will be the place I run to in times of need, the place that will grace my presence many a times because there will always be a need, a need to visit family, friends and a need to go back to appreciate where my life began.
Now whether I should be back in Durban during this festive period to fill the needs mentioned above, I cannot decide. There are many factors that didnt allow me to, responsibilities that made me choose not to go. But I will conclude that being alone in a city you moved to not long ago, during a festive period makes one vulnerable, makes on think and ponder on life. Makes you feel lonely but most importantly makes one dissect the deepest parts of ones inner soul. Its Deep I know hey, but its moments like these that make you grow as an individual and appreciate the person you have become and are still becoming because growth is an ongoing process which never stops.
My reason to move away from home, Durban, was so that I could grow. People may think otherwise, especially my parents lol. They would say I wanted freedom. That is true, but with freedom comes responsibility and growth and that was my end goal. I am proud to say that I was raised well by my parents and on top of that had the best advice giver/caretaker/papa/protector and provider always with me, being God.
Having said the above, the main questions can be answered now. Was it the right choice to move and was the lifestyle change worth it? My answer is a resounding absolutely yes. One, over the year I have grown more and more in God and am becoming the person God wants me to. After all, it was by his will that I got here so fast. Two, I am an adventure person and Cape Town is adventure fulled. Three, ok this should have two but im to lazy to rearrange my sentences, I have met amazing people on the way (even though I get lonely at times being away from family) and I am learning culture change from these people. Sometimes changing the environment you live in is needed to change the outlook/attitude you have for life. There are so many more reasons I could add im sure but just cant think of now but yeah the answer is clear.
For now, I can say that Cape Town is my home (because I do not know if its my final destination) but Durban will always be my forever home, the place I run to no matter where I am the world. They say your home is where your family is and that is Durban.
If you have read till this far, here is some advice, and as my pastor will say “it is for free so listen carefully”. If you planning on moving away from home for the first time, most likely reason is monetary because hello who doesnt like money. BUT please make sure that it is not the sole purpose and make sure the lifestyle change is something that will keep you happy and fit the needs of who you are as a person. Times are hard in SA, finding a job that pays well may only limit you to big cities but in that case, prepare yourself for feeling lonely at times. Dont count on the numerous friends you have and will make to be by your side 24/7. It may not be the case for everyone where they will feel alone but in case you do remember that feeling will pass and being alone allows you to enjoy you time and grow you as a person. And you are never completely alone, God is always there.
So Father, I pray for anyone who feels alone whether due to being away from home or even sitting in their home and feeling alone. I ask you that you just show them more of you in their times of need. Amen.
So my little story comes to an end for today. Stay tuned for the next episode lol.
In the meantime, pictures of Durban because everyone knows how beautiful Cape Town is but so they know the beauty of Durban